delight

So, lately I have been yearning for a baby.  I know that sounds quite dramatic coming from a woman who has been struggling with infertility for a while, but honestly I have really felt it strongly...especially lately.

Maybe it was that weird dream I had (I was telling everyone I was pg in the dream)...maybe it was the fact I spent a lot of time with Bestie's baby boy last weekend.
(SIDENOTE: He is adorable...He is already 7 months and I can't get enough of him...I cannot say enough how much I love them and how HAPPY I am for them as they have that bundle of joy to raise!!!)
...or maybe it was how much I enjoyed holding my friends' sweet 2 year old at her baby shower this past Sunday.
I dunno..but the desire is there!!  And, how I laugh at myself when I think of how that desire was SO not there when we were first married!  Time changes things, huh?

So, last Tuesday, when I started my period, it was a day where I wanted to sit and cry and eat chocolate.  And. I. did.  Thank goodness for 4 year olds who give their teacher chocolate candy for Valentines Day!  yippee!

Honestly, I struggle with feeling guilty for feeling sad about starting my period.  But, i let myself just cry lying in bed with hubby's arms around me and it was good to let it out.

So there we are!
Status is still right now, going to dr. Thursday to see what the next step after surgery is! 
I have a post that is in process and I have another one in my heart, I've been wanting to share, but will post those another time because this is fresh on my mind.

In Sunday School and we had a time of whole group prayer which is different than our small group prayer time we usually do, but our full group prayer times are always the sweetest times we have with each other, I think.  We prayed for some needs in the class and afterwards, a couple in our class announced they are having their 3rd child.  They were so excited to share and I always love to see how happy couples are when they announce that precious announcement!  (oh, yes, I've practiced our own announcement many times!)  A friend leaned over and said...our class is getting blessed with a lot of babies, but they are to the ones who already have children!  I just smiled and said something about how it is all in God's timing.

Then, our teacher shared a few verses with us.
1"I will extol the LORD at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.
4 I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
5 Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame."

(which was an old friends' fav verse passage from about 10 yrs ago)

I don't know what it was, but I started tearing up when he was reading these verses...I really tried to blink my tears away, but they kept coming.  Totally sweet, happy, meaningful tears.

And, then, he read Psm. 37:4 (my fav verse from about 10 yrs ago that this same friend reminded me of a week ago Sunday)
"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."  or my Bible reads, "Take delight in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart." And, more tears flowed!  I just looked down, so I don't think anybody noticed.:)

Does this mean you will get all that your heart desires?  No.   Not if it doesn't fit in with God's will for you. But, God can do a great work in your heart and will change those desires if they do not fit in with his plan.  And, He will give you Peace. Joy. Contentment.

Also, a wonderful lady who has become like a mentor in our young marrieds (are we still young marrieds?) class mentioned about how the word delight in Greek means moldable....I have to have a moldable heart for God to show me what my heart's desires are and mold them into who He wants me to be.  Delight also means captivate.  The word captivate means to hold the attention of, to capture.

It's a verse I had memorized yrs ago and God gave it to me then and now as He brings it in front of me again, He reminds me of His goodness and that He is always at work.

I adore Christy and Nathan Nockel's music, Watermark. I believe when she was TTC years ago, she had a miscarriage and dedicated the song, "Glory, Baby" to their little one they lost.  This song is an amazing worship song.

Captivate Us By Watermark